The year gone by.

This year has been a tough one for me and my man. The start of the year seemed perfect, we had achieved one goal, we had managed to get pregnant but that joy was short lived as in March we lost it. Our little boy was no longer with us. Then came July and another disaster, our little cat Whiskey was run over, we think it was a boy racer. Trance was kind enough to come over and help me bury him and spent the night as John was at work on night shift.

November saw Aeryn move out as our lifestyles were no longer compatible, sometime though out the year, she stopped seeing me as a girlfriend, I have no idea when but it just happened. The hardest part was being told when she was talking to someone else about her relationship status - single no men or women. It came as a small blow to my fragile ego.

Now its almost Christmas, My dreaded period is here again, which means another month of unsuccessful trying, we will get there eventually, but god only knows when we will get to have our children. I hear some of my friends who have been trying have gotten lucky, I feel happy for them but at the same time I am green eyed as I wonder when its going be my turn.

This past week the highlight has been playing adopted Auntie to three wonderful children, its hard sometimes to give them back, they are just that wonderful and its just that hard for me sometimes seeing other people get what John and I want so badly.


I know I started this as kind of a sex blog, but this year hasn't seen alot of fun or kinky sex. Try as I might I seem to be having trouble getting other people into my bed for fun and kinks, while things are slowly getting there with Trance I don't want to rush things for fare of hurting her again, and John and her need the time together more than I do.
With John having a low sex drive that must be shared between two women, it's hard especially when I have a high sex drive, I know he tries to push himself the first week after my period finishes we have sex about 2 or 3 times that week then it becomes a once a week thing.

With the new year I hope things get better, life is tough at the moment. For someone who was born in the year of the Rat, this was supposed to be my year but has been everything but.

Time flies, even when its bad.