I've got a ticket to ride

A pair of tight jeans, a bumpy road and a vehicle that vibrates, add them together and you have a recipe for a very happy woman. I was thinking this as I was enjoying for once a bus trip, the way the bus vibrates, gently rubbing the seam of my jeans along my clit is very enjoyable. I started to think how many other people know about or have experienced this? I for one didn't come as such but I did get a bit worked up, the thrill of all the people around you, the excitement of trying not to get caught.

Is this one reason why so many old ladies ride the buses, or that you see young couples getting overly excited on the bus? I know I used to get excited by being with my man when I was on the bus but I never thought that maybe the buses vibrations were helping him get me worked up. By the time we got "home" I was ready to jump him. So a new type of foreplay? Take them on a bus ride, so they are more likely to ride?

My finial thought as I got off the bus after a most enjoyable and exciting trip was it gives new meaning the the question - Did you come on the bus?

Image from - www.freefoto.com

The year gone by.

This year has been a tough one for me and my man. The start of the year seemed perfect, we had achieved one goal, we had managed to get pregnant but that joy was short lived as in March we lost it. Our little boy was no longer with us. Then came July and another disaster, our little cat Whiskey was run over, we think it was a boy racer. Trance was kind enough to come over and help me bury him and spent the night as John was at work on night shift.

November saw Aeryn move out as our lifestyles were no longer compatible, sometime though out the year, she stopped seeing me as a girlfriend, I have no idea when but it just happened. The hardest part was being told when she was talking to someone else about her relationship status - single no men or women. It came as a small blow to my fragile ego.

Now its almost Christmas, My dreaded period is here again, which means another month of unsuccessful trying, we will get there eventually, but god only knows when we will get to have our children. I hear some of my friends who have been trying have gotten lucky, I feel happy for them but at the same time I am green eyed as I wonder when its going be my turn.

This past week the highlight has been playing adopted Auntie to three wonderful children, its hard sometimes to give them back, they are just that wonderful and its just that hard for me sometimes seeing other people get what John and I want so badly.


I know I started this as kind of a sex blog, but this year hasn't seen alot of fun or kinky sex. Try as I might I seem to be having trouble getting other people into my bed for fun and kinks, while things are slowly getting there with Trance I don't want to rush things for fare of hurting her again, and John and her need the time together more than I do.
With John having a low sex drive that must be shared between two women, it's hard especially when I have a high sex drive, I know he tries to push himself the first week after my period finishes we have sex about 2 or 3 times that week then it becomes a once a week thing.

With the new year I hope things get better, life is tough at the moment. For someone who was born in the year of the Rat, this was supposed to be my year but has been everything but.

Time flies, even when its bad.

Nowhere

Have you ever felt like things were getting nowhere? That is how I have been feeling a bit lately. I don't think its anyone's fault, its just how things are. At the moment I have only a primary, no secondries, I am slowly working on things with Trance so in one case there is some light at the end of the tunnel but apart from that I feel like I am hitting brick walls with relationships. I know its not anyone's fault, but it sucks.

I also feel like I am getting nowhere in getting pregnant again. Yes I know where babies come from, but it's heart breaking each month when my period comes. Another month of getting nowhere.

Its sad feeling like this, I feel envious of some of my friends who are getting where they want to, i am happy for them but I wish i could get there too.

Sexual moods

Its funny how different things effect sexual moods, for example when I am sick I am as horny as hell yet my dear darling hubby is well sick and unable to do anything. Though one thing I have found out when sick I can't hide it from John, especially if we make love, he has a very strange method for taking temperatures. Its a bit like checking the oil, but of so fun.

There are many things I do to get John in the mood, but at the end of the day it all comes down to if he is willing to get in the mood or not. If he isn't interested then it doesn't matter how much I flash my tits at him. He is one of the few guys I know that when it comes to getting him in to the mood, you have to treat him like a woman and woo him in to the mood.
We joke about the sexual stereotypes being reversed, me being the guy and him being the woman, but in seriousness I know its an important fact to keep in mind and let our other partners know. As knowing what buttons to push is always important.

The same goes for sexual techniques as we have found they effect the mood as well. Altering the desired affect. My dear man is not one who enjoys lots of pain, and this causes loss of desire or lack of mood.
But when it comes to John the rules of what works and doesn't changes all the time, but over all they are consistent, if rule A is in affect today then rule B doesn't apply and tomorrow they might be swapped. Over all they never change, just which one applies does.

Wise Mother Wispers

I wrote this some time ago, as a reflection of who I was at the time. I was someone who people would turn to only when they wanted or needed something that only I could give. It was sad but over time that changed, I stopped giving unless I got in return. Either way I think this is a cool Poem so would like to share.

Wise mother whispers,

Truth is her guide.

No one bears her warnings,

From her old hut

Like a hermit,

She sits inside

Looking out with hurtful pride

The daughters come

Without knowledge

Of her heritage,

Of their parentage

She is the witch,

The medicine women.

No one visits,

Without wanting.

Something in return

For their time by her fire.

She’ll soon sleep

Though no one will weep

For the mother they never knew

What if the world stopped spinning?

Ever wish things had been different? Sometimes I do, I wish that one boyfriend I had back when I was 18 could have dumped me a week earlier. That way I could have made out with a guy at a party who after 13 years of going to school and being in the same classes, with a clear conscience. While I have always been bi I haven't always been poly. That is something that happened when I started Uni in 2004, but I have always been forgiving when boyfriends cheated on me, in fact some strange part of me wanted to know about who they were and what my boyfriend had done with them. It turned me on knowing the details, was this the bi part of me? I doubt it. My poly side was emerging, but I would never cheat on a guy, no matter how much I wanted the other guy more, I was a serial monogamist I would go from one guy to the next all because I could never two time.

Looking back I feel bad as I regret breaking some of those relationships off, I wish I had known what poly was, I would have been so much happier. While I have some regrets, there has been none of them since I met John, I guess that's because I don't let chances slip by, I take them. But also John helps me take them which is important, this year alone I am doing many things I never thought I would do, like write. This Blog is something I wanted to do but never had the courage for until this year. I first started writing using my husband's LiveJournal but now feel good enough about my self to write on my own terms as me.

Most of my regrets come from high school, the start of my second year 7th has one of my biggest. One night in particular Saturday the 15th of February, a friend of mine was having a party and I had been invited. My whole life I was the good girl, going out meant skating at the rink with friends, maybe holding hands with a boy while I did it. This was different this was a real party, booze, boys and music, something new for me.

I have never been the popular girl at school, I was always bullied mainly for my size. I was the girl who went through puberty first in my year group at school, the rest were 12 months behind me. So to go to this party was a big thing, besides everything else going on in my life this was something that meant life was going up. At that moment in time, I had a boyfriend and I was wanted. Anyway my regret comes from something that happened at the party, its funny how when we are drunk or slightly intoxicated our inhibitions or social walls come down. Sometimes doing something we would or should never have done or doing something we wish we had done years ago but lacked the guts to do it. Well that was one of those nights.

That night I stood up to people I never thought I would have but on the same note I had a guy tell me that he loved me and he loved my body. That moment has stayed with me, I wish I didn't have a boyfriend at that moment or I would have kissed him or something, instead I said thank you but I have a boyfriend. I just had a confession of love from a guy I had known since I was 5 tell me that he loved me (this was a guy who used to tease me about the size of my breasts, he called me Twin Peaks. But of all the teasing, his never up set me, he never made me cry, he never over stepped the line). All I could think of was shit I have a boyfriend, an out of town guy who wants me? I was confused. Then I was thinking, don't be silly, don't screw up what you've got for a drunk guy who most likely won't remember this conversation. So I did nothing.

5 years on I wish I had done something, I got dumped 4 days later by the out of town boyfriend and I wasn't crushed just annoyed that it was 5 days too late. But what I regret was not picking up the phone and calling him, asking him if he meant what he said. All because I was scared he would back down, take it back or not even remember. So I did nothing until a few weeks ago, when I signed up to FaceBook and there he was. I felt I could ask him about it now, as I am now married and if it was merely a drunk moment I could run to John for safety. He remembered, just about all that happened that night except for one bit. The I love you part but I wont hold that against him, I am not that mean. We all have drunk moments that only the people around us will remember.

I told him that I am in an open marriage in case he was interested, he is, but one catch, he now lives across the ditch in Aussie. So the what ifs continue.

At this stage in my life I would change things in my past but not in my current, I would only change things so as not to affect the current status quo and if that meant changing nothing then so be it. As what I have now I wouldn't trade or change for the world. I love my husband and our life together very much. But I will always wonder what if......... the world was different.

But there will always be regrets and what ifs. I guess its a part of life.

Something quick

Making love to my husband is an important part of my life, one that I love dearly. With John working shifts for a major company I don't get sex as much as I would like, but when I do it is all the more special. At the moment he is going on to night shift so the times he is up are now different. Sex in the middle of the afternoon, is more like morning sex to him. Which for me is fantastic, we get to make laid back love. Well last Sunday was one such day, we made love for 2 hours, god it was fantastic.
But what made me want to write about having 2 hours of sex was what John did to me, he did something that he had never done before. He licked my sweet little pussy clean after coming in it not once but twice. It was so hot to watch, and to taste the combined juices off his lips. it was sweet and salty at the same time, it was the taste of love.

Mmmm, I wonder what will be new in the bedroom next time.